I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
