I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
