Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
