She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
