He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
