and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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