The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Panties = found
Randomize
