I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
