yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
