So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
