I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
