Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
