If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
