escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
