Porn is love you can see.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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