Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
me + whiskey = a bad person
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
