i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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