so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
