I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Randomize
