girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
