No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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