My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
