My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
