your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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