I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
