i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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