I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
