There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
