So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
