Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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