You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
