Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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