my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
