Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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