Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
