I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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