That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
