shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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