so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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