yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
