from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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