Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
