the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
