I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
