And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I accidentally had phone sex last night
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
