Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
