I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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