Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
