Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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