I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
